It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
