WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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