Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
