i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
