Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize