Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize