dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
