I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
