I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
