i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
we should paint friendship bongs
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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