Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i think im in europe. pls send help
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
