I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
