i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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