I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
