she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize