eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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