hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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