i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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