yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
