So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
tell me about the fingering
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