I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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