thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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