i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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