about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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