So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
