fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
