just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
