Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
