went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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