can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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