home. puking in laundry basket.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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