Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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