i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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