dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize