I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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