I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
