The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
