dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
