You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
