So drunk its hurt
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize