If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
