You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
