i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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