i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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