The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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