we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
