Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
