Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
