my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
