Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
