his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
