it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
