Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
